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“Harry Dresden: You rush a miracle worker, you get lousy miracles!”

“It came charging toward me, several hundred pounds of angry-looking monster, and I did the only thing any reasonable wizard could have done.
I turned around and ran like hell.”

“I ask people impertinent questions. Hopefully turning up pertinent answers.”

“Harry Dresden: I don't care about whose DNA has recombined with whose. When everything goes to hell, the people who stand by you without flinching - they are your family.”

“Evil isn’t the real threat to the world. Stupid is just as destructive as Evil, maybe more so, and it’s a hell of a lot more common. What we really need is a crusade against Stupid. That might actually make a difference.”

“Sanya, Knight of the Cross: Laugh whenever you can. Keeps you from killing yourself when things are bad. That and vodka.”

“I had to smile at the man. I mean, you have to smile at idiots and children.”

“Harry Dresden: The building was on fire, and it wasn't my fault.”

“You're in America now," I said. "Our idea of diplomacy is showing up with a gun in one hand and a sandwich in the other and asking which you'd prefer.”

“What is the point of having free will if one cannot occasionally spit in the eye of destiny?”

“In the name of the Pizza Lord. Charge!”

“If I need you I'll give you a signal.'
'What signal?'
'I'll imitate the scream of a terrified little girl”

“Have you ever felt despair? Absolute hopelessness? Have you ever stood in the darkness and known, deep in your heart, in your spirit, that it was never, ever going to get better? That something had been lost, forever, and that it wasn't coming back?”

“I died. I died and someone made a clerical error and I am in Heaven.”

“Caring about someone isn't complicated. It isn't easy. But it isn't complicated, either. Kinda like lifting the engine block out of a car.”

“I let out a battle cry. Sure, a lot of people might have mistaken it for a sudden yelp of unmanly fear, but trust me. It was a battle cry.”

“Time after time, history demonstrates that when people don't want to believe something, they have enormous skills of ignoring it altogether.”

“Smiling always seems to annoy people more than actually insulting them. Or maybe I just have an annoying smile.”

“Ack!" I said.

Fearless master of the witty dialogue, that's me.”

“Me and polite have never been on close terms.”

“There are things you can't walk away from. Not if you want to live with yourself afterward.”

“Laughter is good for you. Nine out of ten stand-up comedians recommend laughter in the face of intense stupidity.”

“Heroism doesn't pay very well. I try to be cold-blooded and money-oriented, but I keep screwing it up.”

“Wizards and computers get along about as well as flamethrowers and libraries.”

“If you can't stop the bad thoughts from coming to visit, at least you can make fun of them while they're hanging around.”

“Punctuality is for people with nothing better to do”

“I know it's not thematically in tune with my new job and all, but I find it effective. Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day," I say. "But set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life. Tao of Pratchett. I live by it.”

“Harry," Bob drawled, his eye lights flickering smugly, "what you know about women, I could juggle.”

“A technicality I'm prepared to hide wildly behind.”