Родни Дэнджерфилд цитаты

Родни Дэнджерфилд — американский комик и актёр. В 1980-х стал известен благодаря фильмам «Лёгкие деньги», «Гольф-клуб» и «Снова в школу». Wikipedia  

✵ 22. Ноябрь 1921 – 5. Октябрь 2004   •   Другие имена رادنی دنقرفیلد, रॉडनी डेंजरफील्ड, جاكوب كوهن, 洛尼·丹吉菲爾德, رادنی دنگرفیلد
Родни Дэнджерфилд фото
Родни Дэнджерфилд: 79   цитат 80   Нравится

Родни Дэнджерфилд знаменитые цитаты

Родни Дэнджерфилд цитаты

Родни Дэнджерфилд: Цитаты на английском языке

“My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.”

Вариант: My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

“I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.”

Вариант: I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.

“What a childhood I had. My mother never breast-fed me. She said she liked me as a friend.”

Источник: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect But Plenty of Sex and Drugs (2004), p. 19

“What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.”

Вариант: What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.

“My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.”

Источник: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs

“When I was a kid, I never went to Disneyland. My ol' man told me Mickey Mouse died in a cancer experiment.”

Источник: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect But Plenty of Sex and Drugs (2004), p. 9

“I tell ya, I grew up in a tough neighborhood. The other night a guy pulled a knife on me. I could see it wasn't a real professional job. There was butter on it.”

Источник: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect But Plenty of Sex and Drugs (2004), p. 16

“I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous, everyone hasn't met me yet.”

Quoted in Bob Fenster, Laugh Off: The Comedy Showdown Between Real Life and the Pros (2005), p. 37
Вариант: I told my psychiatrist everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous; everyone hasn't met me yet.

“A girl phoned me the other day and said, 'Come on over. There's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.”

Вариант: One woman I was dating called and said, 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.

“I was so ugly… When I was born, the doctor slapped my mother!”

Actually originated with Henny Youngman..
Misattributed
Вариант: I was an ugly kid. When I was born, after the doctor cut the cord, he hung himself.
Источник: Youngman H. 101 of My Funniest Jokes. New York: Henny Youngman, 1976. Brochure. Cited in: Essays of an Information Scientist, Vol:4, p.515-518, 1979-80, Current Comments #26, p. 516, June 30, 1980 PDF http://www.garfield.library.upenn.edu/essays/v4p515y1979-80.pdf

“I tell ya, my wife's a lousy cook. After dinner, I don't brush my teeth. I count them.”

Источник: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect But Plenty of Sex and Drugs (2004), p. 18

“In my life I've been through plenty. when I was three years old, my parents got a dog. I was jealous of the dog, so they got rid of me.”

Источник: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect But Plenty of Sex and Drugs (2004), p. 6

“What a childhood I had. Once on my birthday my ol' man gave me a bat. The first day I played with it, it flew away.”

Источник: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect But Plenty of Sex and Drugs (2004), p. 7

“I tell ya, my wife likes to talk during sex. Last night, she called me from a motel.”

Источник: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect But Plenty of Sex and Drugs (2004), p. 59

“I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places. He told me to keep out of those places.”

Вариант: I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places. He told me to keep out of those places.
Источник: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect But Plenty of Sex and Drugs (2004), p. 8

“When I was a kid I got no respect. When my parents got divorced there was a custody fight over me… and no one showed up.”

Источник: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect But Plenty of Sex and Drugs (2004), p. 10

“I tell ya, my family were always big drinkers. When I was a kid, I was missing. They put my picture on a bottle of Scotch.”

Источник: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect But Plenty of Sex and Drugs (2004), p. 21