Билли Кристал цитаты

Билли Кристал фото

1   0

Билли Кристал

Дата рождения: 14. Март 1948

Уильям «Билли» Эдвард Кристал — американский комик, актёр, кинорежиссёр и продюсер, а также писатель и телеведущий. Получил известность в 1970-е годы благодаря телевидению. Затем, в 1980-е и 1990-е годы, сыграл роли во многих успешных фильмах.


„Женщине необходим повод для секса. Мужчине нужно только место.“

„Consider the rose... The rose is the sweetest smelling flower of all, and it's the most beautiful because it's the most simple, right? But sometimes, you got to clip the rose. You got to cut the rose back, so something sweeter smelling and stronger, and even more beautiful, will grow in its place“ 700 Sundays


„That’s the thing about jazz: it’s free flowing, it comes from your soul.“

„Two thousand years ago Jesus is crucified, three days later he walks out of a cave and they celebrate with chocolate bunnies and marshmallow Peeps and beautifully decorated eggs. I guess these were things Jesus loved as a child.“ Still Foolin' 'Em: Where I've Been, Where I'm Going, and Where the Hell Are My Keys

„Westboro Baptist Church: STOP. Stop protesting the funerals of our soldiers who died in action because you are anti-gay. When one of you dies, I’m going to show up with a couple of gay veterans and we’re going to do a musical at your funeral.“ Still Foolin' 'Em: Where I've Been, Where I'm Going, and Where the Hell Are My Keys

„Women need a reason for having sex, men just need a place“

„Do something special on your birthday. Whatever you do, celebrate the fact that you’re here, and that people love you and you love them. We only do this once.“ Still Foolin' 'Em: Where I've Been, Where I'm Going, and Where the Hell Are My Keys

„Nothing can take the sting off the world's economic problems like watching millionaires present each other golden statues.“


„We tiptoe around like we’re the Frank family and the Gestapo is downstairs. The baby monitor is in our room, and the unspoken rule is that when the kids go down, so do we. So at seven P. M., I’m in bed waiting for the sandman to come. I can’t watch TV, because the noise may wake up the kids; I can’t listen to music with my iPod earbuds, because then I can’t hear the monitor; and I can’t have sex, because that could wake up Janice.“ Still Foolin' 'Em: Where I've Been, Where I'm Going, and Where the Hell Are My Keys

„It's more important to look good than to feel good.

Billy Crystal on Saturday Night Live“

„You bought a one-way ticket to New York with no return flight booked,” he says. “I’m flying to New York and I’m not coming back for a month or two,” I explain. “I’m not booking a round-trip flight at this point.” “I understand. No problem. We’ll be finished right after a quick thorough search.” I think he’s kidding. He’s not. I keep trying to joke with him as he frisks me a little too eagerly. “I thought you’d buy me a drink first,” I say. “I guess the only people drinking fifteen minutes before a flight are the pilots.“ Still Foolin' 'Em: Where I've Been, Where I'm Going, and Where the Hell Are My Keys

„The kind of people who spoke mostly Yiddish, which is a combination of German and phlegm. This is a language of coughing and spitting; until I was eleven, I wore a raincoat.“ 700 Sundays


„And if we really want to stay current and relevant, we have to use social media. And by that I mean Facebook. There are one billion people on Facebook. Maybe older people should have our own social media. We can call it What Did That Doctor Do to Your Face Book? In fact, we can have our own text and Facebook abbreviations. We can have our own WTF, LOL, and LMAO. GNIB: Good news, it’s benign. OMG: Oh, my gout. DMMLIMNWD: Don’t make me laugh, I’m not wearing Depends. WAI: Where am I? ITIHSBCR: I think I had sex but can’t remember. ILI: I like Ike. TKDC: The kids didn’t call. DTLSTY: Does this look swollen to you? CTDMELOFM: Call the doctor—my erection lasted over four minutes. PAMUHNASIHSB: Put a mirror under his nose and see if he’s still breathing. Bottom line: we can’t be dial-up in a Wi-Fi world.“ Still Foolin' 'Em: Where I've Been, Where I'm Going, and Where the Hell Are My Keys

„Think of renovating a house like operating the federal government. You start with a budget and the revenue to finance it. Then the special interests keep adding items to the list; you have to end the war between the interior decorator and the electrician, so you pump in more money to buy peace; and by the time you’re done, you’re $16 trillion in debt and having to borrow money from the Chinese.“ Still Foolin' 'Em: Where I've Been, Where I'm Going, and Where the Hell Are My Keys

„... but I had learned over the years that if you're not happy doing what you're doing, then you shouldn't be doing it.“ Still Foolin' 'Em: Where I've Been, Where I'm Going, and Where the Hell Are My Keys

„Thurmond—same thing. Kennedy, Eisenhower, Clinton... all men of power, and the power went right to their pants. Even FDR fooled around. This“ 700 Sundays

Подобные авторы