1. Цитаты
  2. Авторы
  3. Чарли Брукер

Чарли Брукер цитаты
страница 2

Чарльтон Чарли Брукер — британский писатель-сатирик и телеведущий. Работал на телевидении, радио, а также в печатных и интернет-СМИ.

Помимо сценариев к программам Brass eye, The 11 O’Clock Show и Nathan Barley, Брукер также создал несколько телевизионных шоу, в их числе Screenwipe, Gameswipe, Newswipe, Weekly Wipe, и 10 O’Clock Live. Его перу принадлежит хоррор-драма Тупик, состоящая из пяти частей, которая в 2009 году была номинирована на премию «BAFTA» в номинации «лучший драматический сериал». Брукеру также принадлежит идея создания и сценарий сериала Черное зеркало. Кроме того, он пишет критические заметки для Guardian и на данный момент является одним из четырех креативных директоров продюсерской компании Zeppotron.

Резкое, жестокое, грубое и зачастую провокационное чувство юмора Брукера часто сочетается с элементами сюрреализма и неизменным сатирическим пессимизмом. Творчество Чарли Брукера отмечено рядом наград: в 2009 году он получил премию Колумнист Года от British Press Awards, в 2010 году его шоу Newswipe получило премию Royal Television Society как «лучшая развлекательная программа». К его достижениям также относятся три премии British Comedy Awards: «лучший дебют» в 2009 году, «лучшее развлекательное шоу» за Newswipe в 2011 году, и «лучший комик» в 2012 году. Wikipedia  

✵ 3. Март 1971
Чарли Брукер фото
Чарли Брукер: 58   цитат 0   Нравится

Чарли Брукер: Цитаты на английском языке

“Well, babies are notoriously foul-mouthed. [shot of Charlie pointing at a doll] This one just called Derek a prick!”

Help us translate this quote
Charlie Brooker

Screenwipe S2E2
On Derek Ogilvy, the "Baby Mind Reader", apparently reading a baby's mind and finding it is swearing
Screenwipe

“I won't get over that in a hurry: my least favourite atrophied Hazel McWitch lookalike in the world, singing "I just want to make love to you", right there on primetime telly. She has to be the only person on Earth who can take a lyric like that and make it seem like a blood-curdling threat without changing any of the words.”

Help us translate this quote
Charlie Brooker

On Gillian McKeith singing
[Screen Burn, http://www.guardian.co.uk/theguide/columnists/story/0,,1788457,00.html, The Guardian, 3 June 2006, 2007-08-19]
Guardian columns, Screen Burn

“The second Transformers movie came out this year. I didn't fight for a ticket. I'd caught the first one by accident. It was like being pinned to the ground while an angry dishwasher shat in your face for two hours. Any human dumb enough to voluntarily sit through a second helping of that unremitting fecal spew really ought to just get up and leave the planet via the nearest window before their continued presence does lasting damage to the gene pool.”

Help us translate this quote
Charlie Brooker

The Guardian, 3 August, 2009 http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/aug/03/hollywood-ideas-charlie-brooker
Guardian columns

“Early on, presenter Mark Evans observes that a snake is essentially just "one massive tube with a head at the end", which, coincidentally, is also how he might describe his genitals to an audience of blind women in a hypothetical situation I've just invented in which hen nights for the visually impaired are held in special strip clubs where naked men describe their bodies in time to disco music. For what it's worth, I don't know what I'm going on about, either”

Help us translate this quote
Charlie Brooker

Discussing Inside Nature's Giants 12 jUNE 2010 http://www.guardian.co.uk/tv-and-radio/2010/jun/12/charlie-brooker-screen-burn
Guardian columns, Screen Burn

“Even if the Jabscreen 4 was reportedly biting users' ears off and spitting them into a ditch, every Jabscreen 3 user is going to wind up buying one anyway.”

Help us translate this quote
Charlie Brooker

The Guardian 5 July 2010. http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2010/jul/05/iphone-4-apple-new
Guardian columns

“Balls to aspiration, it's a tosser's mirage.”

Help us translate this quote
Charlie Brooker

Screenwipe S2E1
Discussing "aspirational" programming and its ill effects
Screenwipe

“I'll stop calling it the iPhone right now. Instead, for the remainder of this article, it'll be known as the Jabscreen. A better name in any case.”

Help us translate this quote
Charlie Brooker

Guardian columns

“God has far better things to do than creating self-important little species such as ours. He's got wars, deaths, disasters and diseases to ignore for starters. And a fair bit of not-exist-ing-at-all to be getting on with.”

Help us translate this quote
Charlie Brooker

The Guardian, 4 December 2006, When it comes to psychics, my stance is hardcore: they must die alone in windowless cells http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/story/0,,1963337,00.html
Guardian columns

“…I haven't seen so many dirty snouts, and slimy arseholes crammed into such a small space since I last looked inside a sausage.”

Help us translate this quote
Charlie Brooker

S2E6
Newswipe

“If love were a product, the queue at the faulty goods desk would stretch right round the universe and back. It doesn't work properly. The seams come apart and it's full of powdered glass.”

Help us translate this quote
Charlie Brooker

The Guardian, 25 August 2006, Supposing... It's time to smother romance in its sleep http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/story/0,,1858034,00.html
Guardian columns

“Don't accuse anyone with the temerity to question your sad supernatural fantasies of having a 'closed mind' or being 'blind to possibilities'. A closed mind asks no questions, unthinkingly accepting that which it wants to believe. The blindness is all yours.”

Help us translate this quote
Charlie Brooker

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/story/0,,1963337,00.html
The Guardian, 4 December 2006, When it comes to psychics, my stance is hardcore: they must die alone in windowless cells http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/story/0,,1963337,00.html
Guardian columns

“He could probably make you a cloud sandwich if you asked. Or a blancmange made of numbers.”

Help us translate this quote
Charlie Brooker

On Heston Blumenthal.
[Screen Burn, http://www.guardian.co.uk/theguide/columnists/story/0,,2193905,00.html, The Guardian, 20 October 2007, 2007-11-02]
Guardian columns, Screen Burn

“A lot of people think right-wingers aren't capable of being amusing at all. Not true. Mussolini looked hilarious swinging from that lamppost.”

Help us translate this quote
Charlie Brooker

Screen Burn, The Guardian, 24 February 2007, 2007-08-19 http://www.guardian.co.uk/theguide/columnists/story/0,,2019169,00.html,
Guardian columns, Screen Burn

“… The result is the most nauseating display of artificial camaraderie since the horrific Doritos "Friendchips" TV campaign (which caused 50,000 people to kill themselves in 2003, or should have done).”

Help us translate this quote
Charlie Brooker

The Guardian.co.uk,28 August 2009
On Microsoft's Windows 7 Launch Party ad campaign
Guardian columns

“One of the side-effects of having your work appear in a public forum such as this is that people often email me asking for advice on how to break into writing, presumably figuring that if a drooling gum-brain like me can scrape a living witlessly pawing at a keyboard, there's hope for anyone.”

Help us translate this quote
Charlie Brooker

Guardian columns

“You can't press a button to make Phil Mitchell jump over a turtle and land on a cloud (unless you've recently ingested a load of military-grade hallucinogens, in which case you can also make him climb inside his own face and start whistling colours).”

Help us translate this quote
Charlie Brooker

The Guardian, 20 November 2006, Reality bytes back http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/story/0,,1952430,00.html
On video games
Guardian columns

“President Barack Obama. President Barack Obama. Nope, still can't get used to it. It's literally too good to be true. I must've died in my sleep and am now having an insane fantasy pumped into my head by the Matrix. Any minute now Salma Hayek is going to float through the door with a tray of biscuits and I'll know the game's up.”

Help us translate this quote
Charlie Brooker

The Guardian, 10 November 2008 http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2008/nov/10/barack-obama-zombies-running
Guardian columns

“Forgive my pants for remaining unshitten.”

Help us translate this quote
Charlie Brooker

Discussing Twilight in The Guardian 12 July 2010. http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2010/jul/12/charlie-booker-twilights-unscary-monsters
Guardian columns

“Hello, I'm Charlie Brooker and you're watching Screenwipe, a programme all about television.”

Help us translate this quote
Charlie Brooker

Introductory message on every episode of Screenwipe, usually said in an odd way (for example, with Brooker slapping himself as he says it).
Screenwipe

“You could grind a dog's head and a shoe together into a paste and spoon-feed it to me, and I'd probably think it was chicken liver pate, provided I kept my eyes closed, and provided you plucked all the dog hair out beforehand, and provided you'd managed to find a pestle and mortar big enough to mash it all up in, and provided - look, it wouldn't be worth it. I'm just saying I can't taste anything. There's no need to get carried away. What's the matter with you? You're an idiot.”

Help us translate this quote
Charlie Brooker

On his lack of tastebuds due to a bad cold.
[Screen Burn, http://www.guardian.co.uk/theguide/columnists/story/0,,2193905,00.html, The Guardian, 20 October 2007, 2008-07-30]
Guardian columns, Screen Burn

“The original cut of Ridley Scott's recent retelling of the Robin Hood legend contained a puzzling interlude during which Russell Crowe recited the URL for a pornographic website. The scene was dropped from the theatrical release at the last minute when it was discovered that a script supervisor had inadvertently pasted the contents of their clipboard into the script while trying to find the keyboard shortcut for "print."”

Help us translate this quote
Charlie Brooker

The Guardian 4 October 2010 http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2010/oct/04/charlie-brooker-jonathan-franzen-book-pulped
Guardian columns

“Thoughtfully, just as Jabscreen owners everywhere were running out of apps to compare – and, by extension, anything to talk about – the nice droids at Apple Castle gifted them a whole new branch of conversation: the launch of the Jabscreen 4, which apparently is miles better than a regular Jabscreen, although no one can really explain why. Its most impressive feature is this: simply by existing, it suddenly makes your existing Olde Worlde vanilla Jabscreen seem rubbish. How can you enjoy sliding the little icons around on your Jabscreen 3 when you know that if you had a Jabscreen 4, those very same icons would be slightly sharper? The answer is you can't.”

Help us translate this quote
Charlie Brooker

Guardian columns

“The insomniac brain comes in various flavours; different personality types you're forced to share your skull with for several hours. It's like being trapped in a lift with someone who won't shut up. Sometimes your companion is a peppy irritant who passes the time by humming half- remembered TV theme tunes until 7am. Other times it's a morose critic who has recently compiled a 1,500-page report on your innumerable failings and wants to run over it with you a few times before going to print. Worst of all is the hyper-aware sportscaster who offers an uninterrupted commentary describing which bits of your body are currently the least comfortable. No matter where you put that leg, he won't be satisfied. And he's convinced you've got one arm too many.”

Help us translate this quote
Charlie Brooker

The Guardian 26 October 2009. http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/oct/26/charlie-brooker-sleeping-lessons
Guardian columns

“Super injunctions are interesting legal weapons really, they don't just gag the press, they gag them from mentioning the existence of the gag.”

Help us translate this quote
Charlie Brooker

Newswipe

“At first glance, My Super Sweet 16 appears to be a sugary bit of reality drizzle about some irritating American brats, but the more you watch it the more you realize it’s actually a stonehearted exposé of everything that’s wrong with our faltering so-called civilization.”

Help us translate this quote
Charlie Brooker

Screenwipe

“That's certainly made me think. It's made me think I don't want a television any more.”

Help us translate this quote
Charlie Brooker

Discussing the end sequence of "The Execution of Gary Glitter" on Screenwipe Review of the Year 2009
Screenwipe

“Each episode follows an unbelievably spoiled rich and tiny sod as they prepare to throw a despicably opulent coming of age party for themselves and their squealing shitcake friends.”

Help us translate this quote
Charlie Brooker

Screenwipe