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“Speaker: "Please retract that unparliamentary language."”

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Dennis Skinner

Misattributed

“Skinner: …it should be placed on record that, according to my hon. Friends who worked tirelessly in the Committee to oppose the provisions of the Bill, including this clause, the Liberal spokesman was not there half the time.”

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Dennis Skinner

1980s

“Those were all genuine statements that I had to make. The Hon. Member for Winchester (Mr. Browne) was kicked out for 20 days because he lined his pockets with about £50,000 and did not put it in the register as he is supposed to do, and now he is whingeing but I reckon he got away with blue murder!”

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Dennis Skinner

Speech http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm199192/cmhansrd/1992-02-28/Debate-1.html in the House of Commons (28 February 1992)
1990s

“David Alton: I do not know where the hon. Gentleman gets his facts from. If it is from one of his friends on the national executive committee of the Labour Party, I suspect that the information is probably as spurious and ridiculous as most of the other things said in that body. I can assure him that what he said is certainly not the case, and I hope that he will withdraw that comment immediately.”

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Dennis Skinner

1980s

“Jubilee year, double-dip recession, what a start.”

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Dennis Skinner

Queen's Speech 2012: Dennis Skinner heckles Black Rod http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/9254516/Queens-Speech-2012-Dennis-Skinner-heckles-Black-Rod.html Daily Telegraph, 9 May 2012
2010s

“I have been kicked out of this place about seven times, but I did not have any chance to explain. No one said to me, "Dennis, will you explain why you said that the Right Hon. Member for Chingford (Mr. Tebbit) was lining his pockets when he picked up that non-executive directorship of British Telecom?" I would have loved to tell everyone all about that, but Mr. Speaker said, "On your bike - early bath," and off I had to go.”

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Dennis Skinner

Speech http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm199192/cmhansrd/1992-02-28/Debate-1.html in the House of Commons (28 February 1992)
1990s

“Tell the House of Lords to go to hell.”

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Dennis Skinner

During the 2004 fox hunting debate in the House of Commons http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm200304/cmhansrd/vo040915/debtext/40915-07.htm Parliament.co.uk (2004)
2000s

“New Labour, New Black Rod.”

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Dennis Skinner

A reference to Labour's election campaign slogan "New Labour, New Britain". http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/obituaries/1551880/General-Sir-Edward-Jones.html Daily Telgraph 1997
1990s

“Is my right hon. Friend aware that in the 1970s and a lot of the 1980s, we would have thanked our lucky stars in the coalfield areas for growth of 1.75 per cent.? The only thing growing then were the lines of coke in front of boy George and the rest of them.”

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Dennis Skinner

8 Dec 2005 : Column 988 http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm200506/cmhansrd/vo051208/debtext/51208-04.htm publications.parliament.uk/
2000s

“She has been let off because she is a Tory.”

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Dennis Skinner

http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2006/apr/20/houseofcommons.uk1 Skinner thrown out of the Commons - again] The Guardian 20 April 2006
2000s

“Skinner: The hon. Member for Edge Hill seems a bit upset about my saying that he was not there half the time. Will he settle for my agreeing that he was there the other half? That is an advance.”

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Dennis Skinner

House of Commons, Hansard, 1 April 1981, 04:30am, volume 2 col 448 http://hansard.millbanksystems.com/commons/1981/apr/01/saving-for-things-done-under-a-licence#S6CV0002P0_19810401_HOC_593
Skinner may have been alluding to a classic joke http://quoteinvestigator.com/2014/04/19/half-fools/.
1980s

“Skinnner: "OK, half the Tories opposite are not crooks."”

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Dennis Skinner

There is no evidence that Skinner said this. But see quotation from 1 April 1981, above.
It is an old joke which has been around since at least 1927 http://quoteinvestigator.com/2014/04/19/half-fools/.
Misattributed
Вариант: Skinner: "Half the Tories opposite are crooks."
Источник: "Dennis Skinner Did Not Call Half the Tories Crooks (and How to Verify Other Quotes from Parliament)" https://clioseyeroll.wordpress.com/2016/12/03/dennis-skinner-did-not-call-half-the-tories-crooks-and-how-to-verify-other-quotes-from-parliament/, 03 December 2016.

“Is there not something even more sinister in people talking in abstract terms about Britain becoming part of this political union? People may have the impression that we, the 12 countries and perhaps more, are all pals together. The truth is that the real powerhouse of the Common Market lies in Germany. It has just annexed East Germany. It is central to the activities of all the nation states that are falling apart in eastern Europe. Political union spells something much more sinister, and that is German domination. We fought for six years against it in the second world war. If hon. Members allow this political union, they will allow the Germans to win now when they lost in 1945.”

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Dennis Skinner

Speech https://publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm199192/cmhansrd/1992-02-21/Debate-1.html in the House of Commons (21 February 1992) against the Maastricht Treaty
1990s

“I bet he drinks Carling Black Label..”

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Dennis Skinner

A reference to an advertising campaign at the time http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/416382.stm BBC 1991
1990s

“Any Tory moles at the Palace?”

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Dennis Skinner

Referring to the recent arrest of Conservative MP w:Damian Green in connection with an investigation about him receiving confidential information from a civil servant at the Home Office who was formerly a Conservative Party candidate.
To which Black Rod quipped, I shall miss you, Dennis., receiving laughter from other MPs. The 2008 State Opening of Parliament was Michael Willcocks' last as Black Rod.
2000s

“Royal Expenses are on the way.”

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Dennis Skinner

State Opening of Parliament 2009 by Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth including Black Rod a reference to the United Kingdom Parliamentary expenses scandal http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDLL45b0uEo Youtube, 18 November 2009
2000s

“When I called the Right Hon. Member for Plymouth, Devonport (Dr. Owen) a pompous sod, Mr. Speaker said to me, 'You had better withdraw that'. I said I would withdraw 'pompous', but said, Mr. Speaker 'That's not the word I'm looking for.' There was laughter in the House and everyone thought that I had hit the nail on the head. I thought that that was a real parliamentary triumph, but Mr. Speaker thought differently. He said, 'Off you go,' and I did not get a chance to reply.”

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Dennis Skinner

Speech http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm199192/cmhansrd/1992-02-28/Debate-1.html in the House of Commons (28 February 1992)
1990s

“every now and then you see the arrogance of Cameron, and that comes through every so often. It is the Bullingdon Club. When they were sat down – him and Gideon [Osborne's birth name] – and he says: 'You know what we really want, Gideon? Every weekend, after we've roughed up one of those hotels, we need an army of volunteers to come in and clean it all up.' And Gideon says: 'Yeah, we could call it the Big Society" interview with, Decca Aitkenhead”

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Dennis Skinner

Dennis Skinner: 'I was formed in the pits and the war' http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2012/jun/17/dennis-skinner-formed-pits-war The Guardian, 17 June 2012
2010s

“The Hon. Gentleman is making pretty heavy weather of the fact that he was kicked out of this gentleman's club for 20 days. I call it a gentlemen's club.”

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Dennis Skinner

Speech http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm199192/cmhansrd/1992-02-28/Debate-1.html in the House of Commons (28 February 1992)
1990s

“[An exchange takes place between the pair and the speaker, who asks Skinner to keep on topic but not to withdraw the remark. ]”

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Dennis Skinner

1980s

“Royal Mail for sale, Queen's head privatised.”

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Dennis Skinner

Watch Dennis Skinner heckle cause laughter among MPs at State Opening of Parliament http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/watch-dennis-skinner-heckle-cause-1877167 Daily Mirror, 8 May 2013
2010s

“I accused the noble Lord, Lord Pym, when he was a Member of this House, of being the Minister for Unemployment because there were nearly 2 million people on the scrap heap - that pile of human misery known as the dole queue. Again, I was not able to make a speech before Mr. Speaker sent me out.”

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Dennis Skinner

Speech http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm199192/cmhansrd/1992-02-28/Debate-1.html in the House of Commons (28 February 1992)
1990s

“When posh boys are in trouble they sack the servants”

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Dennis Skinner

‘Only posh boys sack their servants’ – Jeremy Hunt faces the wrath of parliament http://www.scotsman.com/news/politics/only-posh-boys-sack-their-servants-jeremy-hunt-faces-the-wrath-of-parliament-1-2255699 The Scotsman, 25 April 2012
2010s

“Coalition's last stand.”

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Dennis Skinner

Dennis Skinner said Queen’s Speech was coalition’s last stand - and it will be painful http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/dennis-skinner-said-queens-speech-3645462 Daily Mirror, 4 June 2014
2010s

“Hands off the BBC.”

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Dennis Skinner

Dennis Skinner Jokes ‘Hands Off The BBC’ During Queen’s Speech http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/dennis-skinner-jokes-hands-off-the-bbc-during-queens-speech_uk_573c4150e4b03f08843dd84b Huffington Post, 18 May 2016
2010s