Джордж Карлин: Цитаты на английском языке (страница 2)

“I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.”

“For a while, I thought of myself as an atheist until I realized it was a belief, too. It's a shame everything has to have a label. I feel that if I was figuratively dropped on the Earth and there was a political line, I would be just left of center. The difference for me is that conservatives are more interested in property values and rights and free markets, and liberals are more interested in human rights. In the end, there are people who don't fit into the marketplace and are not equipped. I believe the government should step in where the free market fails.”

“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”

“I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It's so fuckin' heroic.”

“Meow means "woof" in cat.”

“Religion is like a pair of shoes….. Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes.”

“When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.”

“People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.”

“Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.”

“No. No, there's no God, but there might be some sort of an organizing intelligence, and I think to understand it is way beyond our ability”

“There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.”

“Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?”

“Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.”

“Everyone smiles in the same language.”

“If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that 1 enjoys it?”

“People always tell me "Have a nice day." Well what if I don't want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?”

“Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.”

“We are a nation of sheep, and
someone else owns the grass.”

“The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.”