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“True and baseless evil is as rare as the purest good--and we all know how rare that is…”

“Yes, and imagine a world where there were no hypothetical situations.”

“What is there to forgive?… Ignore forgive and concentrate on living. Life for you is short; far too short to allow small jealousies to infringe on the happiness which can be yours only for the briefest of times.”

“I shouldn't believe anything I say, if I were you-and that includes what I just told you.”

“If you expect me to believe that a lawyer wrote, I must be dafter than I look.”

“Death, I had discovered long ago, was available in varying flavors, and none of them particularly palatable.”

“History has rewritten itself so many times I'm not really sure how it was to begin with -- it's a bit like trying to guess the original color of a wall when it's been repainted eight times.”

“Ordinary adults don't like children to speak of things that are denied them by their own gray minds.”

“Have you ever wondered how nostalgia isn"t what it used to be?”

“I didn't set out to discover a truth. I was actually sent to the Outer Fringes to conduct a chair census and learn some humility. But the truth inevitably found me, as important truths often do, like a lost thought in need of a mind.”

“Fanfiction isn't copying - it's a. One long party, from the first capital letter to the last full stop!”

“Almost anything can be improved with the addition of bacon.”

“Ill-fitting grammar are like ill-fitting shoes. You can get used to it for a bit, but then one day your toes fall off and you can't walk to the bathroom.”

“I have the death sentence in seven genres.”

“Sometimes I don't know whether I'm thening or nowing.”

“The barriers between reality and fiction are softer than we think; a bit like a frozen lake. Hundreds of people can walk across it, but then one evening a thin spot develops and someone falls through; the hole is frozen over by the following morning.”

“The cleanest souls are the easiest to soil.”

“You many have noticed I have a temper… but when I calmed down, I realized that this world, blighted and imperfect as it is, would be better with you in it.”

“Individual words, sounds, squiggles on paper with no meanings other than those with which our imagination can clothe them.”

“How many people want to read about three disreputable pigs and a dopey wolf with a disposition towards house demolition?”

“Humpty had always sat on walls, it was his way.”

“Failure concentrates the mind wonderfully. If you don't make mistakes, you're not trying hard enough.”

“I could almost see common sense and denial fighting away at each other within her. In the end, denial won, as it so often does.”

“I was on HPD--Heathcliff Protection Duty--in Wuthering Heights for two years, and believe me, the ProCaths tried everything. I personally saved him from assassination eight times.”

“Cats aren't really friendly, they're just cozying up to the dominant life-form as a hedge against extinction.”

“Were you listening to a word I said '
'I kind of switched off when you drew breath.”

“Palindrome as well. My sister's name is Hannah. Father liked word games. He was fourteen times World Scrabble Champion. When he died, we buried him at Queenzieburn to make use of the triple word score.”

“Lesson one in time travel, Thursday. First of all, we are all time travellers. The vast majority of us manage only one day per day.”

“the Real-World was a sprawling mess of a book in need of a good editor.”