Тина Фей цитаты
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Эли́забет Стамати́на «Ти́на» Фей — американская актриса, комедиантка, сценарист, продюсер и писательница. Обладательница девяти премий «Эмми», двух премий «Золотой глобус» и пяти премий Гильдии киноактёров США. Wikipedia

✵ 18. Май 1970

Тина Фей фото

Mingle Media TV, https://www.flickr.com/photos/minglemediatv/13106945255/in/set-72157642252193135 / CC BY-SA 2.0

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Тина Фей: Цитаты на английском языке

“They made a porn movie about Sarah Palin, and the same actress, Lisa Ann, played me in the porn version of 30 Rock. Weirdly, of the three of us, Lisa Ann knows the most about foreign policy.”

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"Ask Tina" segment from NBC's 30 Rock website

“Brokeback Mountain was released last weekend. Its notable for being the first Western where the good guys get it in the end.”

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“A man who had a heart attack while he was alone in his house was saved when his dog brought him the phone so he could call for help. However, it should be noted that for every one of these heartwarming stories, there's a million others where the dog just sits there like a moron and watches you die.”

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“It was reported that the New York Knicks have won all 12 of the home games attended by magician David Blaine. A spokesman for the Knicks said, 'if this is what it takes to win, it's not worth it.”

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“Helmut Simon, who 13 years ago found the 5,000-year-old remains of a prehistoric man frozen in the ice of an Alpine glacier, has himself disappeared in the snow-covered Alps. Helmut, if you can hear me, don't give up. Help is on the way in five thousand years.”

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“Two days before Britney Spears' HBO concert from Las Vegas, someone broke into her dressing room and stole the white, Elvis-inspired jumpsuit that she wore to promote the event. And you know what, I'm not giving it back! I keep it now, it's mine!”

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“According to a new study, women in satisfying marriages are less likely to develop cardiovascular diseases than unmarried women. So don't worry, lonely women, you'll be dead soon.”

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“At the request of the Catholic Church, a three-day sex orgy to be held near Rio de Janeiro was cancelled last Friday. So instead I spent the weekend cleaning my apartment. Organizers of the orgy were expecting 1500 men, and 8 women.”

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http://snltranscripts.jt.org/01/01aupdate.phtml

“FOX is developing a new reality dating series called Playing it Straight, in which a female contestant will date 14 bachelors, some of whom are gay, and some are straight. The show was originally called The Tina Fey College Experience.”

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http://snltranscripts.jt.org/03/03kupdate.phtml

“Wafah Dufour bin Laden, niece of Osama bin Laden has signed a contract to star in a reality show…called Skating with the Nieces of Terrorists.”

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“On Matthew McConaughey: "He was always taking his shirt off, he's like "Yeah, here's my deal, I'm hot." We had a meeting one day at like 11 o'clock, right before the show and he walks into the meeting shirtless wearing this like old musty sarong… He doesn't smell great, no."”

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On SNL Guest Hosts

“Well, today in New York, after months of build up and anticipation, Star Jones made history and became the first person ever to get married.”

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http://snltranscripts.jt.org/04/04eupdate.phtml

“Despite explosive violence in the West Bank this week, negotiators remain hopeful that a U. S.-sponsored summit could end the conflict. Israeli and Palestinian officials say they are eager to sign an agreement so they can dip it in gasoline, light it on fire and throw it at each other.”

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“This is, uh, from "RedSoxGirl02," um, so that person is four years old, I guess, 'cause their thing is "02."”

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"Ask Tina" segment from NBC's 30 Rock website

“"I can't believe you recently had a baby. How do you do it?"
[pause]
The baby starts to come down… and once that happens you can't-it comes out. Whether you let it or not, the baby comes out. So that's how I did it.”

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"Ask Tina" segment from NBC's 30 Rock website

“Bill Clinton's brother Roger was arrested this week for drunk driving in California and then was thrown out of a restaurant after threatening the doorman. Despite all this, Roger Clinton is still the least embarrassing member of his family.”

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http://snltranscripts.jt.org/00/00mupdate.phtml

“On 30 Rock and Studio 60 and the Sunset Strip airing in the same year: "We’ll probably end up doing a terrible crossover, where the Matthew Perry character on the drama rapes my character on the comedy—and then the ‘Law & Order’ team solves the crime."”

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http://www.newyorker.com/archive/2006/04/24/060424ta_talk_friend
On 30 Rock

“They made a porn movie about Sarah Palin, and the same actress, Lisa Ann, played me in the porn version of 30 Rock.”

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Weirdly, of the three of us, Lisa Ann knows the most about foreign policy."
"Ask Tina" segment from NBC's 30 Rock website

“So, Alec Baldwin; great actor or greatest actor?”

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I'm gonna say "greatest actor"; Greatest...living...American...actor...in...the Baldwin family...by a mile.
"Ask Tina" segment from NBC's 30 Rock website

“Do the NBC bigheads really pay attention to these message boards?”

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Um, I don't know if they read the message boards. I hope so, because I write fifty to a thousand fake posts a week, mostly, uh, saying that I'm really good and that no else is as good as me. So, I hope they listen to that because I'm trying to get a raise.
"Ask Tina" segment from NBC's 30 Rock website