Фергюсон, Крейг цитаты
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Крейг Фергюсон — известный американский и шотландский телеведущий, стендап-комик, писатель, актёр и режиссёр. С 2005 по 2014 года вёл ТВ-шоу «Самое позднее шоу с Крэйгом Фергюсоном» на канале CBS.

Без отрыва от основной деятельности написал две книги: роман англ. "Between the Bridge and the River" и автобиографию англ. "American on Purpose". Стал гражданином США в 2008 году.

До карьеры телеведущего был известен, как исполнитель роли Найджелла Уика в сериале англ. The Drew Carey Show с 1996 по 2003 год. После написал сценарий и снялся в трёх фильмах, став режиссёром одного из них. Wikipedia  

✵ 17. Май 1962   •   Другие имена کریق فرقوسن
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Фергюсон, Крейг: Цитаты на английском языке

“He's quiet as well, especially if you stalk him.”

On Brad Pitt.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005–2014)

“Change is the nature of God’s mind, and resistance to it is the source of great pain.”

Craig Ferguson книга Between the Bridge and the River

Between the Bridge and the River (2006)
Вариант: Change is the nature of God’s mind, and resistance to it is the source of great pain.

“You know who doesn't like _____? Al-Qaeda!”

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The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005–2014), Commonly repeated

“It's a great day for America, everybody.”

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The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005–2014), Commonly repeated

“[referring to himself] Where's the Scottish Conan guy?”

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The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005–2014), Commonly repeated

“…best night of my life.”

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The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005–2014), Commonly repeated

“Evil does not question itself. Only Hope questions itself.”

Craig Ferguson книга Between the Bridge and the River

Between the Bridge and the River (2006)

“[reading an email] "Dear Craig, … are your letters written by your writers?" No. "Does this make me one of your writers?" (ponders) Yes. "Why haven't I been paid?"”

Because you're one of my writers!
2009-04-03 broadcast
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005–2014)

“By the way, _____ was a name I used to dance under.”

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The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005–2014), "By the way…" variations

“Welcome back, my naughty monkeys.”

whipcrack
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The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005–2014), "Welcome Back" variations
Вариант: Welcome back, my frisky badgers

“Clive Barker: It's an excuse to look at my groin.
Craig Ferguson: I'm European - I don't need an excuse.”

Off-topic discussion about Clive Barker's pants.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005–2014)

“[referring to a suggestive comment aimed at the audience] You too, ladies.”

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The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005–2014), Commonly repeated

“[to camera] Excuse me for just a second. [walks off-camera, to studio audience] Shut up!”

2009-05-15 broadcast
The audience had collectively went "Aw…", expressing disappointment.
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005–2014)

“That's here on CBS, where the 'C' stands for 'Classy' and the 'BS' speaks for itself.”

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005–2014)

“Confession is a sacred rite enhanced by allegory, exaggeration, and lies.”

Craig Ferguson книга Between the Bridge and the River

Between the Bridge and the River (2006)

“"Whaa, I'm Brad Pitt. I'll crush you." [audience laughs] "With my hand!"”

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005–2014)

“[in reference to a two-word comment from a guest] …I used to dance under that name.”

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005–2014), Commonly repeated

“By the way, _____ was the name of a movie I accidentally watched in a hotel room twenty or thirty times.”

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The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005–2014), "By the way…" variations

“I can't live by your rules, man!”

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The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005–2014), Commonly repeated

“[referring to a category of people he might have upset with a joke] I'm looking forward to your letters…”

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The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005–2014), Commonly repeated

“Kids: If a bear is wearing a ranger hat, it's because he ate the ranger!”

On Smokey Bear
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (2005–2014)