Хэндлер, Дэниел цитаты (190 цитат, страница 4) | Цитаты известных личностей

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Хэндлер, Дэниел: Цитаты на английском языке

“As the hook-handed man circled the brig, it was as if the Baudelaires were picking through a chef's salad consisting mostly of dreadful- and perhaps even poisonous- ingredients, trying desperately to find the one noble crouton that might save their sister….”

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Daniel Handler книга The Grim Grotto

Lemony Snicket
The Grim Grotto (2004)

“Lemony Snicket: (narrating) When you are invited to dine, particularly with people you do not know very well, it always helps to have a conversational opener, a phrase which here means "an interesting sentence to say out loud in order to get people talking." Although lately it has become more and more difficult to attend dinner parties without the evening ending in gunfire or tapioca, I keep a list of good and bad conversational openers in my commonplace book in order to avoid awkward pauses at the dinner table. "Who would like to see an assortment of photographs taken while I was on vacation?" for instance, is a very poor conversational opener, because it is likely to make your fellow diners shudder instead of talk, whereas good conversational openers are sentences such as "What would drive a man to commit arson?," "Why do so many stories of true love end in tragedy and despair?," and "Madame diLustro, I believe I've discovered your true identity!," all of which are likely to provoke discussions, arguments, and accusations, thus making the dinner party much more entertaining.”

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Daniel Handler книга The Grim Grotto

The Grim Grotto (2004)

“Yeah, I have a question," said the guy with the wicked eyes… "My question is, I quit. I'm going to quit.”

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Daniel Handler книга Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Wrongly

“Having an aura of menace is like having a pet weasel, because you rarely meet someone who has one, and when you do it makes you want to hide under the coffee table.”

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Daniel Handler книга The Slippery Slope

The Slippery Slope (2003)

“There is evil out there you cannot even imagine. -Captain Widdershins”

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Daniel Handler книга The Grim Grotto

The Grim Grotto (2004)

“This is love, moving to where the money is, and all the while a volcano or an ex-girlfriend might blow the whole thing to hell, as the Americans say. As everybody says.”

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Daniel Handler книга Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Arguably

“The pages of this book, I'm sorry to inform you, contain such unpleasantries as a giant pincer machine, a bad casserole, a man with a cloud of smoke where his head should be, a hypnotist, a terrible accident resulting in injury, and coupons.”

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Daniel Handler книга The Miserable Mill

The Miserable Mill (2000)

“Entertaining a notion, like entertaining a baby cousin or entertaining a pack of hyenas, is a dangerous thing to refuse to do. If you refuse to entertain a baby cousin, the baby cousin may get bored and entertain itself by wandering off and falling down a well. If you refuse to entertain a pack of hyenas, they may become restless and entertain themselves by devouring you. But if you refuse to entertain a notion--which is just a fancy way of saying that you refuse to think about a certain idea--you have to be much braver than someone who is merely facing some bloodthirsty animals, or some parents who are upset and find their little darling at the bottom of a well, because nobody knows what an idea will do when it goes off to entertain itself, particularly if the idea comes from a sinister villain.”

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Daniel Handler книга The Vile Village

Lemony Snicket
The Vile Village (2001)

“C is for Cute
A is for Adorable
R is for Ravishing
M is for Gorgeous
E is for Excellent
L is for Lovable
I is for I'm the best!
T is for Talented
A is for "A tap dancing ballerina fairy princess veterinarian! NOW LET'S START MY WHOLE WONDERFUL SONG ALL OVER AGAIN!”

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Daniel Handler книга The Grim Grotto

The Grim Grotto (2004)

“[she] gave me a puzzled frown like she thought offhand i was dead but the media's so unreliable these days.”

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Daniel Handler книга Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Symbolically

“Friday: Baudelaires, please come with me.
Olaf: What about me?
Friday: Go away.”

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Daniel Handler книга The End

The End (2006)

“I'm happier than a pig eating bacon!" Count Olaf cried. "I'm tickled pinker than a sun-burned Caucasian! I'm in higher spirits than a brand-new graveyard! I'm so happy-go-lucky that lucky and happy people are going to beat me with sticks out of pure, unbridled jealousy!”

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Daniel Handler книга The Grim Grotto

The Grim Grotto (2004)

“Over the years they had developed a layer of sincerity over the irony over the sincerity. It was an irony sandwich, then, which tasted mostly like sincerity, like a cheap, bad sandwich.”

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Daniel Handler книга Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Barely

“The moral of 'The Three Bears,' for instance, is 'Never break into someone else's house." The moral of "Snow White" is "Never eat apples." The moral of World War One is "Never assassinate Archduke Ferdinand". -Lemony Snicket”

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Daniel Handler книга The Miserable Mill

The Miserable Mill (2000)

“Richard Wright, an American novelist of the realist school, asks a famous unfathomable question in his best-known novel, Native Son. Who knows when some slight shock, he asks, disturbing the delicate balance between social order and thirsty aspiration, shall send the skyscrapers in our cities toppling?”

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Daniel Handler книга The Penultimate Peril

Lemony Snicket (351-352)
The Penultimate Peril (2005)

“Truth be told, within the chapters that make up this dreadful story, the children will face snapping crabs, strict punishments, dripping fungus, comprehensive exams, violin recitals, S. O. R. E., and the metric system.”

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Daniel Handler книга The Austere Academy

The Austere Academy (2000)

“Because of the information discussed on page nine, experts now suspect that there may in fact be one survivor of the fire, but the survivor's whereabouts are unknown.”

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Daniel Handler книга The Hostile Hospital

The Snicket File, page 13
The Hostile Hospital (2001)

“With all due respect”

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Daniel Handler книга The Austere Academy

The Austere Academy (2000)

“Unfortunately, I have dedicated my life to researching and recording the sad tale of the Baudelaire Orphans. There is no reason for you to dedicate yourself to such things, and you might instead dedicate yourself to letting this slippery book slip from your hands into a nearby trash receptacle, or deep pit.”

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Daniel Handler книга The Slippery Slope

The Slippery Slope (2003)

“For Beatrice--When we met, my life began. Soon afterwards, yours ended”

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Daniel Handler книга The Ersatz Elevator

Lemony Snicket
The Ersatz Elevator (2001)

“I never want to be away from you again, except at work, in the restroom or when one of us is at a movie the other does not want to see.”

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Daniel Handler книга The Beatrice Letters

The Beatrice Letters (2006)

“The world is a harum-scarum place."
"Harum?" Sunny asked.
It's complicated and confusing," Olivia explained. They say that long ago it was simple and quiet, but that might be a legend.”

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Daniel Handler книга The Carnivorous Carnival

The Carnivorous Carnival (2002)

“Olaf: I'm a genius! I've solved all of our problems! Look!
Violet: Renaming the boat doesn't solve any of our problems.”

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Daniel Handler книга The End

The End (2006)

“That's always where the love goes, with somebody else away from me.”

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Daniel Handler книга Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Symbolically

“"I love you, too" David said and took the bottle.
"I want you to love me in particular," Helena said”

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Daniel Handler книга Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Particularly

“Of all the ridiculous expressions people use--and people use a great many ridiculous expressions--one of the most ridiculous is "No news is good news." "No news is good news" simply means that if you don't hear from someone, everything is probably fine, and you can see at once why this expression makes such little sense, because everything being fine is only one of many, many reasons why someone may not contact you. Perhaps they are tied up. Maybe they are surrounded by fierce weasels, or perhaps they are wedged tightly between two refrigerators and cannot get themselves out. The expression might as well be changed to "no news is bad news," except that people may not be able to contact you because they have just been crowned king or are competing in a gymnastics tournament. The point is that there is no way to know why someone has not contacted you, until they contact you and explain themselves. For this reason, the sensible expression would be "no news is no news," except that it is so obvious that it is hardly an expression at all.”

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Daniel Handler книга The Hostile Hospital

Lemony Snicket
The Hostile Hospital (2001)

“The right boys I always toss and the wrong ones I keep on top of me like paperweights.”

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Daniel Handler книга Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Soundly

“The world 'bubble' is in the dictionary, as is the word 'peacock,' the word 'vacation,' and the words 'the,' 'author's,' 'execution,' 'has,' 'been,' 'cancelled,' which make up a sentence that is always pleasant to hear. So, if you were to read the dictionary, rather than this book, you could skip the parts about 'nervous' and 'anxious' and read about things that wouldn't keep you up all night, weeping and tearing your hair out. But this book is not a dictionary, and if you were to skip the parts about 'nervous' and 'anxious' you would be skipping the most pleasant parts of the entire story. Nowhere in this book will you find the words 'bubble,' 'peacock,' 'vacation,' or, unfortunately for me, anything about an execution being cancelled.”

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Daniel Handler книга The Ersatz Elevator

Lemony Snicket
The Ersatz Elevator (2001)

“Allison squinted at the strange, catastrophic sky, and took another step, another step, another step, because in the future - she could see it - this would not be happening.”

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Daniel Handler книга Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Wrongly

“Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.”

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Daniel Handler книга The Slippery Slope

The Slippery Slope (2003)

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Джим Керри54

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Мэрилин Мэнсон66

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Кристофер Паолини3

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Джерард Уэй18

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