Хэндлер, Дэниел цитаты (190 цитат, страница 5) | Цитаты известных личностей

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Хэндлер, Дэниел: Цитаты на английском языке

“On the day you officially join the organization, you will hear a noise outside your home. It may sound like the howl of a wolf, the chirping of a cricket, the engine of an automobile, the keys of a typewriter, the striking of a match, or the turning of a page. The noise will come in the middle of the night, the middle of the morning, or, in very rare cases, late in the afternoon. Ask your parents what the noise was. If they reply 'nothing,' they are replying in code, because there is never 'nothing' outside one's home. If you are interested in volunteering, answer your parents with the following question: 'If there's nothing out there, what was that noise?' We will be listening, and will know it is safe to act.”

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Daniel Handler

V.F.D.
Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography (2002)

“Wedding after wedding after wedding and then yours - your wedding? Would that make you what they're now calling happy?”

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Daniel Handler книга Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Barely

“The sad truth is that the truth is sad.”

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Daniel Handler книга The Carnivorous Carnival

Lemony Snicket
The Carnivorous Carnival (2002)

“God, or somebody, what is it with terrible things? If you made this world why not a better one?”

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Daniel Handler книга Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Barely

“Like handshakes, house pets, or raw carrots, many things are preferable when not slippery. Unfortunately, in this miserable volume, I am afraid that Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire run into more than their fair share of slipperiness during their harrowing journey up -- and down -- a range of strange and distressing mountains.”

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Daniel Handler книга The Slippery Slope

The Slippery Slope (2003)

“South San Francisco The Industrial City is ugly as sin but somebody lives there: Allison, in fact.”

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Daniel Handler книга Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Wrongly

“For Beatrice--When we were together I felt breathless. Now, you are.-Lemony Snicket”

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Daniel Handler книга The Vile Village

The Vile Village (2001)

“There are few sights sadder than a ruined book. -Lemony Snicket”

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Daniel Handler книга The Wide Window

The Wide Window (2000)

“… the point is, why is there cruelty? Why do people ask other people to do impossible things? why behave this way? why is there mean, when there are better things than mean, love particularly?”

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Daniel Handler книга Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Particularly

“Of course, it is quite possible to be in the dark in the dark, but there are so many secrets in the world that it is likely that you are always in the dark about one thing or another, whether you are in the dark in the dark or in the dark not in the dark, although the sun can go down so quickly that you may be in the in the dark about being in the dark, only to look around and find yourself no longer in the dark about being in the dark, but in the dark in the dark nontheless, not only because of the dark, but because of the ballerinas in the dark, who are not in the dark about the dark, but also not in the dark about the locked cabinet, and you may be in the dark about the ballerinas digging up the locked cabinet in the dark, even though you are no longer in the dark about being in the dark, and so you are in fact in the dark about being in the dark, even though you are not in the dark about being in the dark, and so you may fall into the hole that the ballerinas have dug, which is dark, in the dark, and in the park.”

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Daniel Handler книга The End

Источник: The End (2006), Chapter 9

“I find you interesting, Joe, so nearly everything you say will be interesting too. I love you. I could say I'm lonely but that's not the only reason.”

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Daniel Handler книга Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Collectively

“Klaus: Maybe I don't know what "cakesniffer" means, but I think I can translate our new school's motto… If I'm not mistaken, "Memento Mori" means "Remember you will die."”

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Daniel Handler книга The Austere Academy

The Austere Academy (2000)

“I’m sure you have heard it said that appearance does not matter so much, and that it is what's on the inside that counts. This is, of course, utter nonsense, because if it were true then people who were good on the inside would never have to comb their hair or take a bath, and the whole world would smell even worse than it already does. -Lemony Snicket”

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Daniel Handler книга The Miserable Mill

The Miserable Mill (2000)

“"Instead of change, please give me gun so i can shoot you." She is soft-spoken but short and full of rage lately, like her whole life.”

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Daniel Handler книга Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Often

“As the aphorism says, If you have to ask, you can't afford it.”

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Daniel Handler

Veritable French Diner
Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography (2002)

“Although "jumping to conclusions" is an expression, rather than an activity, it is as dangerous as jumping off a cliff, jumping in front of a moving train, and jumping for joy. If you jump off a cliff, you have a very good chance of experiencing a painful landing unless there is something below you to cushion your fall, such as a body of water or an immense pile of tissue paper. If you jump in front of a moving train, you have a very good chance of experiencing a painful voyage unless you are wearing some sort of train-proof suit. And if you jump for joy, you have a very good chance of experiencing a painful bump on the head, unless you make sure you are standing someplace with very high ceilings, which joyous people rarely do. Clearly, the solution to anything involving jumping is either to make sure you are jumping to a safe place, or not to jump at all.”

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Daniel Handler книга The Vile Village

Lemony Snicket
The Vile Village (2001)

“Shyness is a very curious thing, because, like quicksand, it can strike people are any time, and also, like quicksand, it usually makes its victims look down.”

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Daniel Handler книга The Austere Academy

The Austere Academy (2000)

“What he'd just said was "Who cares?" and nobody wants to hear that.”

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Daniel Handler книга Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Wrongly

“In order to spare you any further repulsion, it would be best not to mention any of the unpleasant details of this story, particularly a secret message, a toboggan, a deceitful trap, a swarm of snow gnats, a scheming villain, a troupe of organized youngsters, a covered casserole dish, and a surprising survivor of a terrible fire.”

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Daniel Handler книга The Slippery Slope

The Slippery Slope (2003)

“It was a bad day for love.”

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Daniel Handler книга Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Frigidly

“To tell you the truth, I sometimes find it a bit tiresome," Fiona said….”

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Daniel Handler книга The Grim Grotto

The Grim Grotto (2004)

“All four of them have completely abandoned one another.”

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Daniel Handler книга Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Clearly

“The world gets grimy and the love object is in stark relief from its surroundings. This is love, a pretty thing on an ugly street and why wouldn't you pick it up if it appeared in a taxi cab.”

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Daniel Handler книга Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Immediately

“Lemony Snicket: (narrating) Reading poetry, even if you are only reading to find a secret message within its words, can often give one a feeling of power, the way you can feel powerful if you are the only one who brought an umbrella on a rainy day, or the only one who knows how to untie knots when you're taken hostage.”

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Daniel Handler книга The Grim Grotto

The Grim Grotto (2004)

“Violet: You are being unbearable, with a U!
Klaus: And YOU are being stupid, with an S!
Sunny: Aget! (meaning "Please stop fighting!")”

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Daniel Handler книга The Wide Window

The Wide Window (2000)

“If i were a little braver i would have asked her something like, "Do you think Kickass: the movie is a comedy in the traditional, classical sense?" and we could have that conversation and it would lead to other conversations during the flat and lonely times.”

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Daniel Handler книга Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Obviously

“"When I was crazy." the radio explained, "I thought you were great."”

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Daniel Handler книга Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Wrongly

“At this point in the dreadful story I am writing, I must interrupt for a moment and describe something that happened to a good friend of mine named Mr. Sirin. Mr. Sirin was a lepidoptrerist, a word which usually means "a person who studies butterflies." In this case, however, the word "lepidopterist" means "a man who was being pursued by angry government officials," and on the night I am telling you about they were right on his heels. Mr. Sirin looked back to see how close they were--four officers in their bright-pink uniforms, with small flashlights in their left hands and large nets in their right--and realized that in a moment they would catch up, and arrest him and his six favorite butterflies, which were frantically flapping alongside him. Mr. Sirin did not care much if he was captured--he had been in prison four and a half times over the course of his long and complicated life--but he cared very much about the butterflies. He realized that these six delicate insects would undoubtedly perish in bug prison, where poisonous spiders, stinging bees, and other criminals would rip them to shreds. So, as the secret police closed in, Mr. Sirin opened his mouth as wide as he could and swallowed all six butterflies whole, quickly placing them in the dark but safe confines of his empty stomach. It was not a pleasant feeling to have these six insects living inside him, but Mr. Sirin kept them there for three years, eating only the lightest foods served in prison so as not to crush the insects with a clump of broccoli or a baked potato. When his prison sentence was over, Mr. Sirin burped up the grateful butterflies and resumed his lepidoptery work in a community that was much more friendly to scientists and their specimens.”

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Daniel Handler книга The Hostile Hospital

Lemony Snicket
The Hostile Hospital (2001)

“I'm full of hard times today”

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Daniel Handler книга Adverbs

Adverbs (2006), Soundly

“Get out of my way, you cakesniffers! -Carmelita Spats”

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Daniel Handler книга The Austere Academy

The Austere Academy (2000)

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