Ноэль Филдинг цитаты

Ноэль Филдинг фото
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Ноэль Филдинг

Дата рождения: 21. Май 1973

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Ноэ́ль Фи́лдинг — английский актёр, комик, сценарист, продюсер, композитор. Известен своей ролью Винса Нуара в «Майти Буш» и Ричмонда Авенела в сериале «Компьютерщики». В 2012 году запустил свой собственный телесериал Noel Fielding's Luxury Comedy.

Подобные авторы

Ларри Дэвид фото
Ларри Дэвид6
американский актёр, сценарист, комик и продюсер
Пол Рубенс фото
Пол Рубенс
американский комик, киноактёр и кинорежиссёр
Паттон Освальт фото
Паттон Освальт
американский стендап-комедиант, сценарист и актёр
Бруно Хеллер фото
Бруно Хеллер
британский сценарист, продюсер и режиссёр

Цитаты Ноэль Филдинг

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„[When asked if he would advocate stalking one's favourite comedian in the hope that one gets to form an award-winning double-act with them and become world famous]“

— Noel Fielding
People kind of say that I stalked Julian. It's a rumour. He stalked me. No, what happened was that I went to see him a couple of times because I liked him. And he phoned me up and said, 'D'you wanna work with me?’ Because he saw me and went, ‘Jesus Christ! He’s like a king! I’d better harness his talent somehow, I’m getting a bit old now...’ He just liked what I did and I liked what he did, so we made love, and then said ‘let’s write!’ We made love in a way that a man and a small boy make love. Sorry. It’s gone a bit sexual.

„[When asked if he used to go onstage dressed as Jesus with a watercolour beard]“

— Noel Fielding
That is true. I used to dress up as Jesus. That’s what I first did onstage. I built a cross as well, a fuck-off big cross about as big as that wall, and I used to get on it at the start of a gig. And I’d have this really sad music and eerie lights, and then the music would just go ‘vvvstp’ and turn into Chas ‘N’ Dave, and I’d start dancing [...] And I used to have a water-pistol as well. So if anyone heckled, I’d just squirt ‘em until they were soaked. ‘Don’t Fuck With The Lord’. I used to tell normal jokes, and make no reference to the fact that I was Jesus. I’m over that stage of my life now. I couldn’t grow a beard though so I had to paint one on, and it used to melt under the lights. So by the end of the gig I used to look like a deranged Jesus with brown juice going down his neck. It was a bit frightening for the children.

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„[When asked if he sees the future with people wearing shirts with his face on it]“

— Noel Fielding
I’d like that, yeah. Teenage girls with my face on their breasts. Is that what you want me to say? [...] I’d like it. Everyone would like it. I think everyone should be made to wear body-suits which are collages of my face.

„[When asked if he could think of a cure for a dog who eats soil]“

— Noel Fielding
I'll sleep with her. I’m a special kind of vet - people bring the animals in, and I sleep with them. Do you have any sick animals that need some time with a vet? [...] What I was saying was that I was going to start a vet practice. People would bring me their sick animals and I’d sleep with them. Turtles. Parakeets. I’d give parakeets blow-jobs. I’d go around the zoo, like James Herriot... saying ‘Giraffes? Really? Bring them to me.’

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Подобные авторы
Ларри Дэвид фото
Ларри Дэвид6
американский актёр, сценарист, комик и продюсер