Уильям Клод Филдс цитаты

„Женщины для меня как слоны: смотреть на них удовольствие, но свой слон мне не нужен.“

—  Уильям Клод Филдс

„Я свободен от предрассудков. Я ненавижу всех в равной степени.“

—  Уильям Клод Филдс

„Счастливого Рождества всем моим друзьям, кроме двоих!“

—  Уильям Клод Филдс

„Если вы не добились успеха сразу, попытайтесь еще и еще раз. А потом успокойтесь и живите в свое удовольствие.“

—  Уильям Клод Филдс

„Везёт человеку, которому удаётся уйти из этого мира живым.“

—  Уильям Клод Филдс

„Когда мы охотились в Африке, мы потеряли штопор и несколько дней жили только на воде и еде.“

—  Уильям Клод Филдс

„Богатый человек — это просто бедный человек с деньгами.“

—  Уильям Клод Филдс

„A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money“

—  W.C. Fields

„I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.“

—  W.C. Fields

„If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.“

—  W.C. Fields

„It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.“

—  W.C. Fields

„I cook with wine, and sometimes I even add it to the food.“

—  W.C. Fields

„If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.“

—  W.C. Fields

The earliest source found in Google Books dates from 1968 https://books.google.com/books?id=4uc0AQAAIAAJ&q=%22baffle+them%22+dazzle&dq=%22baffle+them%22+dazzle&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiKm4ad8rbLAhVM1GMKHa8WDQcQ6AEIJTAC, and does not attribute it to W. C. Fields but to a certain "Bill": I said, "What do you do, Bill?" He says "Well, if I can't dazzle them with my brilliance I baffle them with my bull," and doggone if he doesn't. Not found attributed to W. C. Fields until 2005 https://books.google.com/books?id=-7MizCVNXPEC&pg=PA44&dq=dazzle+%22with+brilliance%22+baffle+fields&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiW0Yzv9rbLAhUT2mMKHW1nAd0Q6AEIHTAA#v=onepage&q=dazzle%20%22with%20brilliance%22%20baffle%20fields&f=false.
Misattributed

„Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.“

—  W.C. Fields

„Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.“

—  W.C. Fields

„I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm so indebted to her for.“

—  W.C. Fields

Never Give a Sucker an Even Break (1941)
Вариант: 'Twas a woman who drove me to drink. I never had the courtesy to thank her.

„Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.“

—  W.C. Fields

„I like children. If they're properly cooked.“

—  W.C. Fields

„If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for.“

—  W.C. Fields

My Little Chickadee (1940)