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“Calvin: That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse.
p190”

“You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go.”

“Hobbes: Do you think there's a God?
Calvin: Well, somebody's out to get me!”

“Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.”

“Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and you're just a reflection of him?”

“How come we play war and not peace?"
"Too few role models.”

“Calvin: I'd hate to think that all my current experiences will someday become stories with no point.
p39”

“Calvin: I think nighttime is dark so you can imagine your fears with less distraction.
p77”

“Calvin: There's no problem so awful that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse!
p100”

“Calvin: Life's a lot more fun when you're not responsible for your actions.
p152”

“They say the secret of success is being at the right place at the right time, but since you never know when the right time is going to be, I figure the trick is to find the right place and just hang around.”

“Rainy days should be spent at home with a cup of tea and a good book.”

“I try to make everyone's day a little more surreal.”

“I like my smock. You can tell the quality of the artist by the quality of his smock. Actually, I just like to say smock. Smock smock smock smock smock smock.”

“A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.”

“I've been thinking Hobbes"
"On a weekend?"
"Well, it wasn't on purpose”

“Hello Dad! It is now three in the morning. Do you know where I am?”

“The world isn't fair, Calvin."
"I know Dad, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?”

“Life is like topography, Hobbes. There are summits of happiness and success, flat stretches of boring routine and valleys of frustration and failure.”

“I'd hate to have a kid like me.”

“What fun is it being cool if you can't wear a sombrero?”

“Calvin: From now on, I'm not doing anything I don't want to do! The world owes me happiness, fulfillment and success…. I'm just here to cash in.
p145”

“Now what state do you live in?'
'Denial.”

“Calvin: Why are you crying mom?
Mom: I'm cutting up an onion.
Calvin: It must be hard to cook if you anthrpomorphisize your vegetables.”

“To invent your own life's meaning is not easy, but it's still allowed, and I think you'll be happier for the trouble.”

“If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.”

“Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I'll have a witty and blistering retort! You'll be devastated THEN”

“Calvin: Girls are like slugs—they probably serve some purpose, but it's hard to imagine what.
p71”

“Every time I've built character, I've regretted it.”