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“Calvin:"It says here that 'religion is the opiate of the masses.'… what do you suppose that means?"
Television: "… it means that Karl Marx hadn't seen anything yet”

“You never know when some crazed rodent with cold feet could be running loose in your pants.”

“I wonder where we go when we die?”
“…Pittsburgh?”
“You mean if we’re good or if we’re bad?”

“I must follow the inscrutable exhortations of my soul.”

“Susie: The way Calvin's brain is wired, you can almost hear the fuses blowing.
p64”

“What's the point of wearing your favorite rocket ship underpants if nobody ever asks to see 'em?”

“Even if lives did hang in the balance, it would depend on whose they were.”

“From now on I’ll connect the dots my own way.”

“Calvin: But for my own example, I'd never believe one little kid could have so much brains!
p182”

“Mothers are the necessity of invention.”

“Calvin's Dad: I don't think I'd have been in such a hurry to reach adulthood if I'd known the whole thing was going to be ad-libbed.”

“Boy, there's nothing worse than an inscrutable omen.”

“Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.”

“I suppose if we couldn't laugh at things that don't make sense, we couldn't react to a lot of life.”

“Calvin's Dad: It's going to be a grim day when the world is run by a generation that doesn't know anything but what it's seen on TV.
p100”

“Until you stalk and overrun, you cannot devour anyone.

-Hobbes”

“Scientific Progress goes boink?”

“Good friends are hard to come by.. I need more money.”

“You know what's the rage this year?… Hats.”

“It's surprising how hard we'll work when the work is done just for ourselves.”

“They say the world is a stage. But obviously the play is unrehearsed and everybody is ad-libbing his lines."
"Maybe that’s why it’s hard to tell if we’re living in a tragedy or a farce."
"We need more special effects and dance numbers.”

“Virtual reality has nothing on Calvin.”

“Paul Gauguin asked, "whence do we come? What are we? Where are we going?" Well, I don't know about anyone else, but I came from my room, I'm a kid with big plans, and I'm going outside! See ya later! Say, who the heck is Paul Gauguin anyway?”

“My likely historical significance is a terrible burden. ~ Calvin”

“Never argue with a six-year-old who shaves.”

“I hope some historian will confirm that I was the first cartoonist to use the word 'booger' in a newspaper comic strip.”

“Calvin: I'm a genius. I can't believe how smart I am.
… I've got more brains than I know what to do with.
Hobbes: So I've noticed.”

“Sleepwalking?"
"Nightmare?"
"Homicidal psycho jungle cat!”

“So long, Pop! I'm off to check my tiger trap!”