Амброз Гвиннет Бирс цитаты

„Корректор — злоумышленник, который делает вашу книгу бессмысленной, но искупает свою вину тем, что позволяет наборщику сделать ее неудобочитаемой.“

„Бедствие — более чем обыкновенно ясное и безошибочное напоминание о том, что дела этой жизни управляются не нами. Бедствия бывают двух видов: наша беда и удача других.“

„Рай — место, где нечестивые перестают досаждать вам разговорами о своих делах, а праведники внимательно слушают, как вы разглагольствуете о своих.“

Перевод А. Вышемирского
«Словарь Сатаны»

„Австралия — страна в Южном Море, чье индустриальное и коммерческое развитие было несказанно замедлено неудачным спором географов относительно того, является ли она континентом или островом.“

Перевод И. Кашкина
«Словарь Сатаны»

„Честолюбие — всепоглощающее желание быть поносимыми врагами при жизни и выставляемыми на посмешище друзьями после смерти.“

Перевод А. Ю. Сорочан
«Словарь Сатаны»

„Образование — то, что мудрому открывает, а от глупого скрывает недостаточность его знаний.“

Перевод А. Вышемирского
«Словарь Сатаны»

„Случайность — неизбежное происшествие, обязанное действию непреложных законов природы.“

„Оппозиция в политике — партия, которая удерживает правительство от буйного помешательства, подрезая ему поджилки.“

Перевод А. Вышемирского
«Словарь Сатаны»

„Из двух зол будь меньшим.“

„Гостеприимство — это добродетель, принуждающая нас дать приют тем, кто в приюте не нуждается.“

„Судьба для тирана — оправдание злодейства, для глупца — оправдание неудачи.“

„Если вы хотите, чтобы ваши современники признали вас великим, постарайтесь быть ненамного более великим, чем они.“

„Любовь — Временное недомогание, излечиваемое свадьбой или удалением пациента от влияний, под действием которых он заболел. Эта болезнь, так же как костоед и многие другие недуги, распространена только среди цивилизованных рас, живущих в искусственных условиях; варварские народы, которые дышат чистым воздухом и едят простую пищу, свободны от ее бесчинств. Иногда она воистину губительна, но по большей части для лекаря, а не для пациента.“

„Жизнь — духовный рассол, сохраняющий тело от распада. Мы живем в ежедневном предчувствии ее потери; все же, будучи потерянной, она не пропущена. Вопрос «стоит ли жизнь прожить?»“

Перевод А. Вышемирского
«Словарь Сатаны»

„Страхование – остроумная современная азартная игра, в которой игроку позволяют потешиться приятной надеждой, что он может обыграть банкомета.“

долго обсуждался; особенно теми, кто придерживается отрицательного ответа. Многие из них написали немало в поддержку своих представлений и путем осторожного соблюдения законов здоровья наслаждались долгие годы честью успешного противоречия теории.
«Словарь Сатаны»

“Prejudice, n. A vagrant opinion without visible means of support.”

Амброз Гвиннет Бирс: Цитаты на английском языке

“An army's bravest men are its cowards. The death which they would not meet at the hands of the enemy they will meet at the hands of their officers, with never a flinching.”

Ambrose Bierce книга The Devil's Dictionary

The Devil's Dictionary (1911)

“Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder. This disease is prevalent only among civilized races living under artificial conditions; barbarous nations breathing pure air and eating simple food enjoy immunity from its ravages. It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the physician than to the patient.”

Источник: What I Saw At Shiloh (1881), V

“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.”

The Devil's Dictionary (1911)
Источник: The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

“Faith, n. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.”

“Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.”

The Devil's Dictionary (1911)
Источник: The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

“Circus, n. A place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool.”

“Peyton Fahrquhar was dead; his body, with a broken neck, swung gently from side to side beneath the timbers of the Owl Creek bridge.”

Ambrose Bierce книга The Devil's Dictionary

The Devil's Dictionary (1911)

“Non-combatant, n. A dead Quaker.”

An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge (1891)

“Idiot, n. A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling. The Idiot's activity is not confined to any special field of thought or action, but "pervades and regulates the whole." He has the last word in everything; his decision is unappealable. He sets the fashions and opinion of taste, dictates the limitations of speech and circumscribes conduct with a dead-line.”

Ambrose Bierce книга The Devil's Dictionary

The Devil's Dictionary (1911)

“Hidden in hollows and behind clumps of rank brambles were large tents, dimly lighted with candles, but looking comfortable. The kind of comfort they supplied was indicated by pairs of men entering and reappearing, bearing litters; by low moans from within and by long rows of dead with covered faces outside. These tents were constantly receiving the wounded, yet were never full; they were continually ejecting the dead, yet were never empty. It was as if the helpless had been carried in and murdered, that they might not hamper those whose business it was to fall to-morrow.”

Ambrose Bierce книга The Devil's Dictionary

The Devil's Dictionary (1911)

“The covers of this book are too far apart.”

Источник: What I Saw At Shiloh (1881), V

“Quotation, n. The act of repeating erroneously the words of another. The words erroneously repeated.”

“One thing, however, I hope I may without offense affirm of these swamp-dwellers--they were pious. To what deity their veneration was given--whether, like the Egyptians, they worshiped the crocodile, or, like other Americans, adored themselves, I do not presume to guess.”

The Devil's Dictionary (1911)
Источник: The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

“n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.”

Источник: What I Saw At Shiloh (1881), VI
Контексте: I suppose the country lying between Corinth and Pittsburg Landing could boast a few inhabitants other than alligators. What manner of people they were it is impossible to say, inasmuch as the fighting dispersed, or possibly exterminated them; perhaps in merely classing them as non-saurian I shall describe them with sufficient particularity and at the same time avert from myself the natural suspicion attaching to a writer who points out to persons who do not know him the peculiarities of persons whom he does not know. One thing, however, I hope I may without offense affirm of these swamp-dwellers--they were pious. To what deity their veneration was given--whether, like the Egyptians, they worshiped the crocodile, or, like other Americans, adored themselves, I do not presume to guess. But whoever, or whatever, may have been the divinity whose ends they shaped, unto Him, or It, they had builded a temple. This humble edifice, centrally situated in the heart of a solitude, and conveniently accessible to the supersylvan crow, had been christened Shiloh Chapel, whence the name of the battle.

“Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.”

Источник: The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

“Patience, n. A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.”

The Devil's Dictionary (1911)
Источник: The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

“All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.”

The Devil's Dictionary (1911)
Источник: The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

“Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.”

Источник: Epigrams, p. 369
Источник: The Collected Writings Of Ambrose Bierce

“Pray, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.”

The Devil's Dictionary (1911)
Источник: The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

“Cynic, n. A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be. Hence the custom among the Scythians of plucking out a cynic's eyes to improve his vision.”

The Devil's Dictionary (1911)
Источник: The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

“Ocean, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man — who has no gills.”

The Devil's Dictionary (1911)
Источник: The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

“Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.”

The Devil's Dictionary (1911)
Источник: The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

“Scriptures, n. The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.”

“Corporation, n. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.”

The Devil's Dictionary (1911)
Источник: The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

“Education, n. That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.”

The Devil's Dictionary (1911)
Источник: The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

“Apologize, v. To lay the foundation for a future offense.”

Ambrose Bierce книга The Devil's Dictionary

Источник: The Devil's Dictionary (1911)

“In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.”

The Devil's Dictionary (1911)
Источник: The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

“A benighted creature who has the folly to worship something he can see and feel.”

Ambrose Bierce книга The Devil's Dictionary

The Devil's Dictionary (1911)
Контексте: Brain, n. An apparatus with which we think that we think... In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

“Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.”

Источник: The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary