Митч Хедберг цитаты
1 0Митч Хедберг
Дата рождения: 24. Февраль 1968
Дата смерти: 29. Март 2005
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Митчелл Ли (Митч Хедберг) — американский стендап-комик.
Подобные авторы
Луис Си Кей12
американский стендап-комик, сценарист, продюсер и режиссёр
Юрий Хованский22
российский видеоблогер
Граучо Маркс30
американский актёр, комик
Цитаты Митч Хедберг
„I had an apartment and I had a neighbor, and whenever he would knock on my wall, I knew he wanted me to turn my music down, and that made me angry 'cause I like loud music… So when he knocked on the wall, I'd mess with his head. I'd say "Go around! I cannot open the wall! I don't know if you have a door on your side, but over here there's nothin'. It's just flat."“
— Mitch Hedberg
Comedy Central Presents, S01E06: Mitch Hedberg https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iAHiHJ2AhYE&feature=youtu.be (5 January 1999)
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„I went to a pizzeria, I ordered a slice of pizza, the fucker gave me the smallest slice possible. If the pizza was a pie chart for what people would do if they found a million dollars, the fucker gave me the "donate it to charity" slice. I would like to exchange this for the "keep it!"“
— Mitch Hedberg
track 2, "Sandwiches"
„I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it. How'd it start anyway? I like my sandwiches with three pieces of bread. So do I! Well let's form a club then. Alright, but we need more stipulations. Yes we do; instead of cutting the sandwich once, let's cut it again. Yes, four triangles, and we will position them into a circle. In the middle we will dump chips. Or potato salad. Okay. I got a question for ya, how do you feel about frilly toothpicks? I'm for 'em! Well this club is formed; spread the word on menus nationwide. I like my sandwiches with alfalfa sprouts. Well then you're not in the fuckin' club!“
— Mitch Hedberg
track 2, "Sandwiches"
