Митч Хедберг цитаты
1 0Митч Хедберг
Дата рождения: 24. Февраль 1968
Дата смерти: 29. Март 2005
Митчелл Ли (Митч Хедберг) — американский стендап-комик.
Цитаты Митч Хедберг
„You know when it comes to racism, people say: " I don't care if they're black, white, purple or green"… Ooh hold on now: Purple or Green? You gotta draw the line somewhere! To hell with purple people!“
Unless they're suffocating - then help'em.
Just For Laughs: On The Edge - 2002
„I like the American-Canadian border, 'cause if you're walking on the border with a friend, and you push your friend into Canada, he can't push you back right away, 'cause first he has to go through customs. "What brings you to Canada?":[Points to the side] "That asshole." "When are you leaving?"“
"As soon as I regain my equilibrium!"
Just For Laughs: On The Edge - 2002
„I had an apartment and I had a neighbor, and whenever he would knock on my wall, I knew he wanted me to turn my music down, and that made me angry 'cause I like loud music… So when he knocked on the wall, I'd mess with his head. I'd say "Go around! I cannot open the wall! I don't know if you have a door on your side, but over here there's nothin.'“
It's just flat."
Comedy Central Presents, S01E06: Mitch Hedberg https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iAHiHJ2AhYE&feature=youtu.be (5 January 1999)
„I was gonna get a candy bar; the button I was supposed to push was "HH", so I went to the side, I found the "H" button, I pushed it twice. Fuckin'…potato chips came out, man, because they had an "HH" button for Christ's sake! You need to let me know. I'm not familiar with the concept of "HH."“
I did not learn my AA-BB-CC's. God-god dammit-dammit.
Mitch All Together (2003)
„My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.“
Mitch All Together (2003)
„I went to a pizzeria, I ordered a slice of pizza, the fucker gave me the smallest slice possible. If the pizza was a pie chart for what people would do if they found a million dollars, the fucker gave me the "donate it to charity" slice. I would like to exchange this for the "keep it!"“
track 2, "Sandwiches"
Mitch All Together (2003)
