Уилл Роджерс цитаты
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Уильям Пенн Эдер «Уилл» Роджерс — американский ковбой, комик, актёр и журналист.

✵ 4. Ноябрь 1879 – 15. Август 1935
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„Если вы внезапно очутились в яме, первое, что надо сделать — это перестать копать.“

Если обнаружил себя в яме, первым делом перестань копать.
Вариант: Если вы очутились в яме, первое, что надо сделать — это перестать копать.

„Все смешно до тех пор, пока это случилось не с нами.“

Мы готовы смеяться над всем. Но при одном условии: если это происходит не с нами.

Уилл Роджерс: Цитаты на английском языке

“The only problem with Boy Scouts is, there aren't enough of them.”

As quoted in Giving young people a chance to grow (22 Nov 2011)
As quoted in ...
Источник: [Marks, Linda, Giving young people a chance to grow, http://www.perrytribune.com/community/article_19a33c04-8c22-5b7e-bd10-ba1a572bc6ac.html, Perry County Tribune, 22 November 2011, 31 January 2015]

“I not only "don't choose to run" but I don't even want to leave a loophole in case I am drafted, so I won't "choose". I will say "won't run" no matter how bad the country will need a comedian by that time.”

Daily Telegram #1538, The First Good News of the 1928 Campaign! Mr. Rogers Says He Will Not Run For Anything (28 June 1931)
Daily telegrams

“I am not so much concerned with the return on capital as I am with the return of capital.”

The Prudent Professor: Planning and Saving for a Worry-Free Retirement (2011) by Edwin M. Bridges, Brian D. Bridges;
Forbes Guide to the Markets: Becoming a Savvy Investor (2009) by Forbes, LLC, Marc M. Groz
The National Underwriter, Volume 45 (1941), p. 12: "As Eddie Cantor put it years ago, after getting burned in the stock market, the life insurance policyholder is more interested in the return of his money than in the return on it."
Misattributed

“I doubt if a charging elephant, or a rhino, is as determined, or hard to check, as a socially ambitious mother.”

Daily Telegram #1808, Mr. Rogers' Heart Goes Out To Our Envoy To St. James's (10 May 1932) in The New York Times, 11 May 1932 http://select.nytimes.com/gst/abstract.html?res=FB0A15FA3E5A13738DDDA80994DD405B828FF1D3
Daily telegrams

“This would be a great time in the world for some man to come along that knew something.”

Daily Telegram #1611, Mr. Rogers Thinks Its Time That A Smart Man Came Along (21 September 1931)
Daily telegrams

“We can make this thing into a Party, instead of a Memory.”

Letter to Al Smith regarding the Democratic party (19 January 1929)
Other

“advertising […] makes you spend money you haven't got for things you don't want.”

As the Connecticut Yankee Hank Morgan / Sir Boss in the 1931 film A Connecticut Yankee (after Mark Twain). Cf. Ivan G. Shreve Jr: Thrilling days of yesteryear blogspot.de/2009/09 http://thrillingdaysofyesteryear.blogspot.de/2009/09/grey-market-cinema-connecticut-yankee.html. Also quoted in Printers' Ink magazine, volume 156, issue 1 (1931), p. 3 books.google https://books.google.com/books?id=-oULAQAAIAAJ&q=arthur's and Advertising Outdoors Vol. 2, No. 8 (August 1931), p. 19 https://books.google.com/books?id=rZcXAQAAMAAJ&q=definitions, https://books.google.com/books?id=rZcXAQAAMAAJ&q=spend+money = http://www.forgottenbooks.com/readbook_text/Advertising_Outdoors_1000005193/373
As quoted in ...

“The rest of the people know the condition of the country, for they live in it, but Congress has no idea what is going on in America, so the President has to tell 'em.”

As quoted in Defending Liars : In Defense of President Bush and the War on Terror in Iraq (2006) by Howard L. Salter, p. 40
As quoted in ...

“When I die, my epitaph or whatever you call those signs on gravestones is going to read: "I joked about every prominent man of my time, but I never met a man I didn't like." I am so proud of that I can hardly wait to die so it can be carved. And when you come to my grave you will find me sitting there, proudly reading it.”

"One of his most famous and most quoted remarks. First printed in the Boston Globe, June 16, 1930, after he had attended Tremont Temple Baptist Church, where Dr. James W. Brougher was minister. He asked Will to say a few words after the sermon. The papers were quick to pick up the remark, and it stayed with him the rest of his life. He also said it on various other occasions" ~ Paula McSpadden Love <!-- (p. 167) -->
Variant: I joked about every prominent man in my lifetime, but I never met one I didn't like.
John D. [Rockefeller] sure carried out my old saying, “I never met a man I didn’t like.” Nationally syndicated column number 219, Rogers Gets Six Shiny Dimes From Oil King (1927).
The earliest dated citation of such a remark thus far found in research for Wikiquote is the one from 1926 about Leon Trotsky from the Saturday Evening Post (6 November 1926).
The Will Rogers Book (1972)

“We don't know what we want, but we are ready to bite somebody to get it.”

Daily Telegram number 2768, Mr. Rogers Puts Us Down As A Nation of Fleas (19 June 1935)
Daily telegrams

“We are here just for a spell and then pass on. So get a few laughs and do the best you can. Live your life so that whenever you lose it, you are ahead.”

Inscribed on the Will Rogers Memorial Building in Claremore, Oklahoma.
Variants: We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can.
As quoted in Peter's Quotations : Ideas for Our Time (1979) by Laurence J. Peter, p. 285
We are all here for a short spell; so get all the good laughs you can.
As quoted in Civilization's Quotations : Life's Ideal (2002) by Richard Alan Krieger, p. 69
As quoted in ...

“Heroing is one of the shortest-lived professions there is.”

Nationally syndicated column number 114, Monuments Are All Right But Even Heroes Must Eat (1925).
Weekly columns

“When the Judgment Day comes civilization will have an alibi, "I never took a human life, I only sold the fellow the gun to take it with."”

Daily Telegram #926, A General Digging Out Of Old War Contracts (15 July 1929) <ref name=telegram2>
Daily telegrams

“This country has gotten where it is in spite of politics, not by the aid of it. That we have carried as much political bunk as we have and still survived shows we are a super nation.”

Daily Telegram #1948, Will Rogers Favors Closing the Campaign Right Now and Letting The Boys Go Fishing (1 November 1932)
Daily telegrams

“This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.”

Daily Telegram #1230, Congress Session, Rogers Says, Is Like Baby Getting A Hammer (4 July 1930)
Daily telegrams

“Politics has got so expensive that it takes lots of money to even get beat with.”

Daily Telegram #1538, The First Good News of the 1928 Campaign! Mr. Rogers Says He Will Not Run For Anything (28 June 1931)
Daily telegrams

“When you get into trouble 5,000 miles from home, you’ve got to have been looking for it.”

As quoted in Sanity Is Where You Find It : An affectionate history of the United States in the 20's and 30's (1955) edited by Donald Day.
As quoted in ...

“An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out.”

As quoted in Peter's Quotations : Ideas for Our Time (1979) by Laurence J. Peter, p. 258
As quoted in ...

“I am a peace man. I haven't got any use for wars and there is no more humor in 'em than there is reason for 'em.”

Daily Telegram (4 December 1931), as quoted in Will Rogers' Daily Telegrams (1979), p. 104; also in Will Rogers Speaks: Over 1,000 Timeless Quotations for Public Speakers (1995) edited by Bryan B. Sterling and ‎Frances N. Sterling, p. 304
Daily telegrams

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