Уилл Роджерс цитаты

страница 3

„Слишком многие люди тратят деньги, которые они с трудом заработали, на вещи, которые им не нужны, чтобы впечатлить людей, которые им не нравятся.“

„Никогда не упускайте хороший шанс заткнуться.“

„Дипломатия подобна правильной бухгалтерии. Он не верит тебе, ты не веришь ему — значит, баланс в полном порядке.“

„Мне кажется, единственный путь прекратить разводы — это прекратить браки.“

„Нельзя сказать, что цивилизация не развивается — в каждой новой войне людей убивают новым способом.“

„Нет ничего более глупого, чем образованный человек, если Вы отделяете его от предмета, в котором он был образован.“

„Людям не нравятся сплетни только в одном случае: когда сплетничают о них.“

„Все люди невежественны, только каждый в своей области.“

„Не так уж важно, с кем ты вступаешь в брак, — все равно наутро окажется, что это совсем другой человек.“

„Денег меньше не стало — просто стало меньше людей, у которых они есть.“

„Если на Небесах нет собак, тогда, когда я умру, я хочу пойти туда, куда они пошли.“

„Каждую минуту, когда вы злитесь на кого-то, вы теряете 60 секунд счастья, которое вы никогда не вернете.“

„Россия такая страна, о которой что ни скажешь, всё будет правдой, даже если это неправда.“

„Если вы внезапно очутились в яме, первое, что надо сделать — это перестать копать.“

„Все смешно до тех пор, пока это случилось не с нами.“

„Даже если Вы на правильном пути, Вас задавят, если Вы будете просто сидеть на дороге.“

„После выборов и после женитьбы редко получаешь то, что хотел.“

„Герой — это самая короткая профессия на свете.“

„Коммунизм — как сухой закон: идея хорошая, но не работает.“

„Вкладывайте деньги в инфляцию, ибо только она постоянно растет.“

„Не дай нам бог дожить до того дня, когда все будет так плохо, как об этом пишут газеты.“

„Комика подстерегают две опасности: либо зритель начнет воспринимать его всерьез, либо он сам.“

„Кто может — делает, кто не может — скулит.“

„Мы готовы смеяться над всем. Но при одном условии: если это происходит не с нами.“

„Все мы невежды, только в разных областях.“

„Вот что будет с тобой, если ты не перестанешь грызть ногти!“

„Холдинговая компания — это когда передаешь свое добро сообщнику, пока тебя разыскивает полиция.“

„Профессия дипломата сродни профессии фокусника. Обоим необходимы высокие котелки, и спрятанные там сюрпризы все до единого известны остальным дипломатам и фокусникам.“

“There are men running governments who shouldn't be allowed to play with matches.”

“Lord, the money we do spend on Government and it's not one bit better than the government we got for one-third the money twenty years ago.”

“You can't say civilization don't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way.”

“Give her a day, and then in return Momma gives you the other 364.”

“Most men are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”

“Lord, let me live until I die.”

“There ain't nothing that breaks up homes, country, and nations like somebody publishing their memoirs.”

“The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.”

“The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That's one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living.”

“There is no credit to being a comedian, when you have the whole Government working for you. All you have to do is report the facts. I don't even have to exaggerate.”

“Communism is like prohibition, it's a good idea but it won't work.”

“That's one thing about Republican Presidents. They never went in much for plans. They only had one plan. It says "Boys, my head is turned. Just get it while you can."”

“Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate; now what's going to happen to us with both a Senate and a House?”

“The United States never lost a war or won a conference.”

“Letting the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back.”

“You've got to be optimist to be a Democrat, and you've got to be a humorist to stay one.”

“Papers say: "Congress is deadlocked and can't act." I think that is the greatest blessing that could befall this country.”

“This election was lost four and five and six years ago not this year. They dident start thinking of the old common fellow till just as they started out on the election tour. The money was all appropriated for the top in the hopes that it would trickle down to the needy. Mr. Hoover was an engineer. He knew that water trickled down. Put it uphill and let it go and it will reach the dryest little spot. But he dident know that money trickled up. Give it to the people at the bottom and the people at the top will have it before night anyhow. But it will at least have passed through the poor fellow’s hands. They saved the big banks but the little ones went up the flue.”

“No party is as bad as its state and national leaders.”

“Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week.”

“There is only one thing that can kill the Movies, and that is education.”

“The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.”

“And kid Congress and the Senate, don't scold 'em. They are just children thats never grown up. They don't like to be corrected in company. Don't send messages to 'em, send candy.”

“You've never in your life seen a picture, I bet any one of you, never seen a picture of one of these old Pilgrims praying when they didn't have a gun right by the side of them. That was to see that he got what he was praying for.”

“I originated a remark many years ago that I think has been copied more than any little thing that I've every said, and I used it in the FOLLIES of 1922. I said America has a unique record. We never lost a war and we never won a conference in our lives. I believe that we could without any degree of egotism, single-handed lick any nation in the world. But we can't confer with Costa Rica and come home with our shirts on.”

“Our constitution protects aliens, drunks, and U. S. Senators. There ought to be one day (just one) when there is open season on senators.”

“This would be a great world to dance in if we didn't have to pay the fiddler.”

“I certainly know that [A] comedian can only last till he either takes himself serious or his audience takes him serious and I don't want either of those to happen to me til I am dead”

“We are the first nation to starve to death in a storehouse that's overfilled with everything we want.”