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Джордж Микеш

Дата рождения: 15. Февраль 1912
Дата смерти: 30. Август 1987
Другие имена: Georges Mikes

Джордж Микеш — английский писатель-юморист венгерского происхождения. Знаменит своей юмористической книгой «Как быть иностранцем» .

„Люди заводят собак, а кошки людей. Видно, считают их полезными домашними животными.“

„Наш век отнюдь не Век Тревоги. Это Век Пустоты. Наш век просто сорвался с якоря и несется в никуда.“

„Телевидение имеет огромное образовательное значение. Оно учит вас, когда вы молоды, как: (а) убивать, (б) грабить, (в) расхищать, (г) стрелять, (д) отравлять, и, в общем, (е) как вырасти в преступника или бандита Дикого Запада ко времени окончания школы.“

„An Englishman, even if he is alone, forms an orderly queue of one.“

„You can keep a dog; but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats find humans useful domestic animals.“

„Q. Why don't the British panic?
A. They do, but very quietly. It is impossible for the naked eye to tell their panic from their ecstasy.“
How to Be an Alien: A Handbook for Beginners and Advanced Pupils

„Remember: If you go for a walk with a friend in England, don't say a single word for hours; if you go for a walk with your dog, talk to it all the time.“ How to Be an Alien: A Handbook for Beginners and Advanced Pupils

„If a continental youth wants to declare his love to a girl, he kneels down, tells her that she is the sweetest, the most charming and ravishing person in the world, that she has something in her, something peculiar and individual which only a few hundred thousand other women have and that he would be unable to live one more minute without her. Often, to give a little more emphasis to the statement, he shoots himself on the spot. This is a normal, week-day declaration of love in the more temperamental continental countries. In England the boy pats his adored one on the back and says softly: ‘I don’t object to you, you know.’ If he is quite mad with passion, he may add: ‘I rather fancy you, in fact.“ How To Be A Brit

„Many Continentals tink life is a game; the English think cricet is a game.“

„In England it is bad manners to be clever, to assert something confidently. It may be your own personal view that two and two make four, but you must not state it in a self-assured way, because this is a democratic country and others may be of a different opinion.“ How To Be A Brit

„There are some occasions when you must not refuse a cup of tea, otherwise you are judged an exotic and barbarous bird without any hope of ever being able to take your place in civilised society.
If you are invited to an English home, at five o’clock in the morning you get a cup of tea. It is either brought in by a heartily smiling hostess or an almost malevolently silent maid.“
How To Be A Brit

„Remember that those five hundred words an average Englishman uses are far from being the whole vocabulary of the language. You may learn another five hundred and another five thousand and yet another fifty thousand and still you may come across a further fifty thousand you have never heard of before, and nobody else either.“ How To Be A Brit

„Mr S. got angry.
‘Yes, I do have a son. He’s a good-for-nothing. A dead loss.’
I couldn’t ask which prison he was in, so I put it more tactfully: ‘What is he doing?’
He sighed deeply: ‘He’s a professor of mathematics at London University.“

„5. Television is of great educational value. It teaches you while still really young how tokill, rob, embezzle, shoot, poison, and generally speaking, how to grow up into a Wild West outlaw or gangster by the time you leave school.
6. Television puts a stop to crime because all the burglars and robbers, instead of going to burgle and rob, sit at home watchingand.“
How To Be A Brit

„On the Continent learned persons love to quote Aristotle, Horace, Montaigne and show off their knowledge; in England only uneducated people show off their knowledge, nobody quotes Latin and Greek authors in the course of a conversation, unless he has never read them.“ How To Be A Brit

„THE British are brave people. They can face anything, except reality.“ How To Be A Brit

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